The Name Game
by mascaret
Summary: Same name. Different song.


_The Name Game_

Coming back from a very long and very late lunch with Flynn, Provenza was greeted by an irate Buzz.

"Lieutenant Provenza, would you _please_ either let me help you set up your voice mail box or get Sharon to stop calling you?"

"You had some missed calls." Expression deadpan, Sanchez nodded towards the phone on Provenza's desk. The receiver had been taken off its cradle.

"And by _some_ he means _a lot_." Tao clarified.

Buzz handed him a pink 'while you were out' slip. "Here's the number she can be reached at."

Taking off his jacket and settling into his chair, without even bothering to look at the message, Provenza filed it in the circular file on the floor.

"You're not going to call her back?!" Buzz was beyond alarmed.

Provenza explained. "I have a very simple policy. If we didn't have any kids while we were married, I don't return your calls after the divorce."

"You _have_ to call her back! You're phone wouldn't stop ringing the whole time you were gone. I made the mistake of picking up once and now she has my name. I don't know who she knows at the switchboard, but they gave her my cell number. She's called _me_ three times in the last hour!"

As if to illustrate Buzz's point, his cell began vibrating. Retrieving the paper from the trash, Buzz again thrust it Provenza's way. "You need to call Sharon so she will stop calling me!"

Wandering by on his way to the break room, the newly arrived Rusty stopped. "Why does the Lieutenant have to call Sharon? She's right there." Rusty gestured across the room to where Raydor was pondering the murder board.

Knowing exactly what he was doing, Andy teased. "_Sharon_ called three times in an hour? Things must be getting pretty hot and heavy between you and _Sharon_."

Provenza grunted and rolled his eyes.

"Wait … what?" Rusty's brow wrinkled in confusion for a fraction of a second before his expression turned to one of horror. "You and Sharon? No!" Oblivious to the other people in the squad room, he called to Sharon. "Are you … are you _sleeping_ with Lieutenant Provenza?"

Turning to face them, her eyes widened in shock, but with only a few seconds delay, she played along. Hands on her hips, she strode towards Provenza's desk. Cocking her head, she reprimanded him in an amused tone. "Lieutenant, I thought we agreed to keep our torrid love affair to ourselves for the time being?"

"I - We – we did." Provenza looked uncomfortable – but not nearly as uncomfortable as Rusty.

"No! No way!" Rusty exclaimed looking back and forth between them. "You're old." He explained to Sharon before turning on Provenza. "And you - you're _older than old._ That's not right. That is wrong." Rusty protested. "That is so, so wrong – it's wronger than wrong. At your age can you still even -"

"- Hey now!" Provenza interrupted him.

Pulling the toothpick out of his mouth, with a chuckle Flynn finally put the boy out of his misery. "Sharon also happens to be the name of Provenza's third wife."

"Second." Provenza corrected him.

"Second? Really? Are you sure?" Flynn challenged him. "Because I'm pretty sure that she was number three. I know you have a lot of ex-wives and it can be hard to keep track of them all."

Ignoring Flynn, Provenza continued. "And she keeps calling because she wants me to loan her money – an experience I am sure that the Captain can relate to."

"Ouch." Flynn winced. "She wants you to pay for it? That's low – even for her!"

"Oh!" Looking quite relieved, Rusty recapped the situation. "So it's a different Sharon that he is sleeping with."

"I am _not_ sleeping with my ex-wife, Sharon!" Provenza protested.

"That makes a lot more sense." Rusty continued.

Realizing, the rudeness of his earlier outburst, Rusty made an attempt to apologize. "About all that you're so old stuff, Lieutenant. I'm sorry. It was uncalled for. I just was not expecting ..." Unsure how to continue, Rusty abandoned that track and turned to face the other party he had offended.

"And you too, Sharon -"

As Rusty started to apologize to her too, Sharon silenced him with a look before breaking up the fun. "Dr. Moralez just called. He has ruled out murder-suicide so this case is not going to solve itself. Let's get back to work."

Watching her walk back towards her office, Rusty said to no one in particular. "I am in so much trouble, aren't I?"

"So, so much trouble." Amy agreed with a smile.

Pausing at the entrance to her office, Raydor turned back to invite Provenza inside. "Lieutenant."

Rising from his desk and putting back on his jacket, Provenza fumed as he endured the snickers of his colleagues.

"Now you're going to get it." Toothpick firmly back in place, Flynn taunted him.

Irritated and a touch humiliated by the last few minutes, Provenza slammed the door behind him. He remained standing.

Leaning against the front of her desk, her arms crossed, Sharon stared at him almost appraisingly.

"That was _all _Flynn's doing." Provenza protested. "I never said a word. Not a single word."

"I know."

He found her calmness incredibly unnerving – more so than if she were to yell at him. "So you called me in here because ..."

"No particular reason." she replied nonchalantly.

Provenza frowned.

As she moved forward and began to encroach on his personal space, his eyebrows rose. As she placed a hand on his lapel, Provenza turned his head to steal a glance behind him.

The blinds were open. Their entire attention focused on the events unfolding in Raydor's office, the rest of the team wasn't even attempting the pretense of working.

Her first kiss - just the gentle brushing of her lips against his – could have easily been mistaken as something friendly. The far more lingering second could not.

As she finally pulled away, ending the kiss, her hand still lingered on his lapel "What _young_ Rusty doesn't realize yet is that with age comes experience."

"Yes, yes, it does." The sting of the afternoon having been removed, Provenza agreed with a smile.

Lifting the hand still resting on his lapel, Provenza pressed it to his lips before stepping back.

Exiting her office with a bit more spring to his step, Provenza began barking out orders. "You heard the Captain – this murder isn't going to solve itself. Buzz, pull up the footage you shot of the crowd outside the house and see if you can find anyone who stands out as suspicious. Sanchez, run the details through VICAP and see if you can get any hits. Tao, where are we on that ballistics report?"

On his way back to his own desk, Provenza stopped in front of a still stunned Flynn. "Oh and Flynn, you dropped your toothpick."

"No friggin' way." Was all Flynn could come up with in reply.


End file.
